Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
