Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
