Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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