didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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