Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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