there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
