it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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