I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
