Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
