My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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