i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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