O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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