I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
