god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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