Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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