I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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