im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
