I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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