my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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