so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
COCAINE IS GR8
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
