You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
operation have a gay friend backfired
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
