Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How does it feel to date your dad?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
