Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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