there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
why do cheetos always look like penises
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
