I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
