Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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