i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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