They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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