google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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