Don't you send me to vm
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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