wat bout pragnant strippers??
You can't special order awesome
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
