i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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