butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
