We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
