ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
