giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Actions speak louder than pants.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
