Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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