If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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