Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
