No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
