Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
