When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
