operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
