Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
