Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
