If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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