your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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