I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
