just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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