Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
