We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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