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after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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