i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
