i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
